Mono
by Teena M
Summary: A rather twisted, dark, and disturbing look into Sakurazuka Seishirou's view of things.


Teena: This is my first X fic. Fuuma is pushy, so it probably won't be  
my ONLY X fic. The warnings are very simple. This fic is a monologue   
written from inside Sakurazuka Seishirou's head. That should tell you   
everything you need to know. Fuuma, you're making me write this, do the  
disclaimer.  
  
Fuuma: *rolls his eyes* Teena-chan, my not so esteemed authoress, does  
not own X or Tokyo Babylon, or any of the characters thereof. They belong  
to the delightfully evil and psychotic CLAMP.  
  
Teena: I am, however, the official Keeper of Subaru and Seishirou's   
Obsessive Love. By the way, I left my summary for this fic in here. It's  
just below. Also, I pretty much pulled the rating out of thin air. If   
anyone thinks it should be rated differently, feel free to let me know. I  
have NO clue what I SHOULD be rating this thing.  
  
Summary:  
  
mono1: person, one, people  
mono2: thing, object, matter  
  
The same word, with two very different meanings. Or are they so different?   
Perhaps this one word can shed a great deal of light on Sakurazuka Seishirou's,   
the Sakurazukamori's, dark and skewed way of looking at things. And people.  
  
Mono  
  
Do you really think me such a monster, Subaru-kun? Simply because I see no   
difference between people and objects? You always were so adorably naive, my  
Subaru-kun. I am far from being the only one with such an attitude. If nothing  
else, you need only look at our language to see that. Our word for person and  
our word for object are one and the same. Mono... You can only tell which is  
meant by context. Yet you look at me with that accusing look in your emerald   
eyes, still, after all you've seen done, by me and by others as well, not   
understanding that this is, quite simply, the way humanity is.   
  
You would protest that, I know. Even now, as 1999 passes, while you pretend  
to be empty and bitter, you would still insist that there are things in man  
worth saving. That everyone has goodness and compassion and consideration for  
others somewhere inside them. Except for me, perhaps. Oddly enough, I'm not  
quite sure where you stand on that particular subject. But everyone else, yes.  
You claim to have no interest in the battle for the end of the world, yet you  
are involved, nonetheless. You fight to save kekkai, and to help your young  
Kamui. You fight because you still believe in the goodness of mankind, that  
there are people worth saving.  
  
That is why you are a Seal, a Dragon of Heaven.  
  
I do not harbor such pleasant beliefs. I am not, for lack of a better word  
for it, optimistic. Humans, in the end, care about little other than their  
own interests. They scurry through their frighteningly dull lives seeking  
advantage over others. Pointless, inane, and uninteresting are the best  
descriptions of society and the human race in general. Unlike you, who only  
pretends, I truly do not care about the fate of the earth. I play the game  
of the Apocalypse because it amuses me, and because you are one of the other  
players. The idea of humanity dying out does not bother me, because I fail  
to see anything worth saving.  
  
That is why I am an Angel, a Dragon of Earth.  
  
I'm not sure if I have ever had your gentle outlook. I was only a child  
when Setsuka began my training. I was six when she killed my father in front  
of me. Do you know I don't even remember his name? I'm sure you would be  
horrifed. It wasn't so horrible as you would think. He knew the day would  
come. I still recall the look of peace on his face as he died with Setsuka's  
....with Mother's...hand through his heart. She called me over gently and  
had me touch the blood, still warm as it poured from his chest. He smiled  
at her and told her he loved her in the moment before he died, and Setsuka  
smiled back and kissed his forehead silently. I still remember what she told  
me that day, and again when I was fifteen, the day I killed her.  
  
It's a beautiful thing to be killed by the one you love the most.  
  
You would probably say, after you got over being thoroughly disgusted, of  
course, that it's something I will never experience, since I don't love. But  
don't be so sure. People wonder about love, it is one of the great mysteries.  
What is 'true love', after all? An emotion so powerful it can change lives,  
change events, perhaps even change fate? Many like to think so. I know better.  
What people call 'true love' is really nothing more than managing to see a  
person other than yourself as real. We are all the center of our own universe,  
and everything, everyone, else is just part of the set. When we find a person  
that we can think of as real, as something other than a prop, that is what  
we label 'true love'.   
  
Love is an illusion, Subaru-kun, and I have always been a master of illusions.  
  
No, I didn't lose the Bet. I will say that now, without hesitation. When I  
broke your arm, when I killed your sister, you still were not real to me. You  
were still nothing more than a crystal figurine, a pretty prop, part of the  
set. At the end of the year, I still did not see you as someone. Your purity,  
innocence, and naivete did not touch me. It is the new Subaru that has truly  
drawn my interest. Pained, unhappy, purity tainted by darkness and anger, so  
very torn between duty and the desire for revenge, and your desire for me,   
the fact that, despite everything, I am still your 'special person'. It is  
the new Subaru that is real to me.  
  
I will die at your hands, Subaru-kun, and it will be a beautiful thing.  
  
~owari~  
  
Teena: *quietly stares at the thing she has just written* Fuuma... this fic  
scares me.  
  
Fuuma: *smirks* Good. Then it's in character for Seishirou.  
  
Teena: It's DISTURBING. Highly so.   
  
Fuuma: Again, good, it's in character.  
  
Teena: ....I hate you. Why couldn't I have gotten Dork!Fuuma as a muse? 


End file.
